We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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