# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
