I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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