scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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