I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We were destined to go to rehab together
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
