? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize