I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
