Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The air was thick with penises
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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