OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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