Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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