2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
