You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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