Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
