Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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