the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
