matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
