i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
