He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
