Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We had sex on a dog bed..
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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