No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
