Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
