They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
