I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
