yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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