I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
