I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
