whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize