I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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