apparently the secret to your success is patron
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
