Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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