This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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