bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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