And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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