i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
