i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize