I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
