Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Operation Purity has been aborted
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
