but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
