I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
