i think my tv is drunk
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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