bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
