I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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