Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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