so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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