does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
