What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize