At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
