we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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