I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
