My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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