I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
