is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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