I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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