from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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