Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
