Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
