i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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