He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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