I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
