I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
