I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
