you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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