Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
