A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
