I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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