Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
